Dating Tip #3: Check Under The Hood

Check Under The Hood |

Hey girlfriend! It’s week 3 of the Dating Tip series. Thank you so much for meeting me here each week. I pray you’re blessed; moreover, I pray God speaks to you individually through this series. If you’re just joining us, click the links for Tip #1 and Tip #2 to catch up.

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What qualities do you want in a man?




Nice body?

Teeth on point?

Nice Complexion?

Sistahs, stop checkin’ for his swag and check under the hood!

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

I have a hard time picking a sweet watermelon. I lean more towards the pretty watermelons. You know. The watermelons without dirt and discoloration. I place my pretty watermelon in my shopping cart and wait with anticipation to cut it open. When I bring the watermelon home, cut it open, and taste it. It’s not sweet. Don’t be the girl who brings home an bad watermelon (man), just because it (he) looks pretty. To avoid this, keep reading.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a man who’s physically attractive; however, scripture cautions us about looking at the outward appearance. In 1 Samuel 16, the Lord sends Samuel to anoint the next king of Israel. Saul, the first king of Israel, looked the part. 1 Samuel 9:2 states, Saul was the most handsome man in Israel – head and shoulders taller than anyone else in the land. Although he looked the part, we soon learn, he wasn’t all that and a bag of Doritos (which are my fav #lickingmyfingersofthecheeseresidue.)

What if the #1 quality you seek is a man after God’s own heart?

Prior to my relationship with God, T.B.C. (Tiffany Before Christ), I fell victim to the outward appearances. Lemme just tell ya, looking for swag had me looking real crazy! What good is a man who looks good if he hits you? Looks good but disrespects you? Looks good but doesn’t support you? Looks good but cheats on you? Just because a man looks good, doesn’t mean he’s good for you!

A man after God’s own heart isn’t a perfect man. King David wasn’t perfect. Like you and I, he made mistakes. Even in making those mistakes, David was a man who admitted his sin, repented, and changed his ways. He didn’t keep committing the same sin over and over again. If your heart is truly after God, there should be receipts. A receipt for obedience to God’s word, patience, humility, kindness, self-control, slow to anger – to name a few. Where are his receipts?

Reflect & Respond:

Have you ever chosen a man because he looks good? Have you ever considered his heart? Let me hear it. Spill the tea in the comments below or email me at

Check back next Wednesday for Tip #4, and Join the Tea Party to receive an email when the next tip drops.

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Check Under The Hood |

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  1. Honeygirl, I just turned in my application for Midas, after reading this blog I am a certified mechanic. Yes, boo boo! I waited all week for the beat to drop, and like always you didn’t disappoint. I am beginning to wonder if you are writing these nuggets for me! So, let me spill tea, I am Living Single! Call Sinclair! I broke up with that zero and gave him the site to your blog. So not only is my momma and sister mad at you, but my ex is too!

    Let me go croquet a quilt until next Wednesday. #eatingDoritosandimpatientlywaiting

    1. Ms. Living Single! I live for your comments! Thank you so much for reading each week and commenting.

      How can I meet you? I feel like we’re suppose to be friends in real life.

      P.S. Tell momma, sista, and the ex, it’s not me, it’s the Holy Spirit. 🙂

  2. I haven’t gone after relationships because of looks before, but I’ve definitely had things like “he makes me wanted” as the primary motivator. Dating is hard, dating prayerfully and not settling is harder, but dating just for the sake of being wanted or being seen with a cute guy is way, way harder.

    1. Dating can definitely challenging. The flesh longs to be wanted. It likes to know it’s worthy. Appreciated. Loved. We like something tangible. Having someone who can physically touch you, hug you, and whisper those sweet nothings in your ear often overrides the fact that we are ALREADY wanted. In fact, we were wanted so badly that blood was shed for us. So often we forget who we are and whose we are. When we forget that, we end up searching in all the wrong places.

      Dating God’s way gets easier when we throw our flesh in the backseat and tell it to shut up! 🙂

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting! <3

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