I love you but he cheats on you.
I love you but he’s very disrespectful to you.
I love but his homeboys, partying and drinking always come first.
I love you but he’s a magician and plays disappearing acts.
I love you but he hits you.
I love you but he’s controlling and jealous.
I love but he doesn’t claim you.
I love you but he never spends time with you.
I love you but he won’t be seen in public with you.
Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a significant disconnect between what your man says and what he does? If so, you’re in good company. While good company is good, it’s not enough. At some point, we’ve gotta move from gossiping girlfriend’s to life changing solutions. And girlfriend, do I have a solution for you!
EXAMINE HIS FRUIT.
A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thorn bushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. Luke 6:44
Just like a tree, your man is known by the fruit he bears.
Galatians 5:19 lists the fruit produced when the Holy Spirit is absent, “When we follow the desires of our sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immortality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outburst of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these…”
Galatians 5:22-23 lists the fruit produced when the Holy Spirit is present, “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…”
I dated a guy who was very, extremely, <insert ALLLLLLLLL the adjectives here> unfaithful. It was very obvious the Holy Spirit was doormat in his life. Too bad I didn’t know a thing about the Holy Spirit then. No matter how many tears I cried, the outcome was still the same – continued unfaithfulness. Ladies, it doesn’t matter how many times he apologizes and promises to never <insert his lie here> again, without the active presence of the Holy Spirit in his life, it’s only a matter of time before he does IT again. The Holy Spirit empowers us to do what’s right; otherwise, we continually fall victim to our fleshly desires.
If you’re a godly wife in waiting, a woman who’s waiting on God to send her a husband, stop wasting precious time wishing, hoping, and praying his fruit will change. Don’t allow the enemy make you doubt what you know to be true. I’m reminded of the question posed to Eve in the garden, “Did God really say?” If you’ve ever thought, “It’s not that bad. He only cheated once. He apologized…“, RUN! Don’t allow any man to treat you like an extra when you’re the leading actress, mmmK!
Reflect & Respond:
Consider for a moment the men you’ve dated, or the man you’re currently dating, what fruit was/is he producing? Does his fruit demonstrate the Holy Spirit’s presence or absence?
What about you? Are you producing the same fruit you desire him to produce? Ladies, we’re not off the hook. We own some of the responsibility too.
Sound off in the comments below or shoot me an email, firstname.lastname@example.org. I look forward to hearing from you!
Check back next Wednesday for Tip #2, or Join the Tea Party to receive an email when the next tip drops.