Dating Tip #4: Seek God First

Dating Tip #4: Seek God First |

Welcome to week 4 of the Dating Tip Series. If you’re just joining us, no need to fret. You can catch up by clicking the links for Tip #1 , Tip #2 , and Tip #3.

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When a new man comes into your life, have you ever paused to pray? Have you ever asked God, “Should I talk to this man? Go on a date with him?” Have you ever pounced only to find out later, you should’ve bounced? Both of my hands are raised!

When I entered relationships, it was never about God. Nor was it about His desires for me. It was all about me and what Tiffany wanted. I hear Mya’s song featuring Dru Hill playing my head, “It’s all about me, me, me…” If it seemed right, I was all in.

There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death. Proverbs 14:12

The path that seems right can end in death. The death of a relationship you so desperately keep trying to give CPR.

Are You Tired Yet?

Are you tired of circling the same mountain? Tired of:

Falling for married men?

Falling for men who aren’t ready for a commitment?

Falling for men who are immature?

Falling for men who don’t have any goals in life? Dreams, or ambition?

Falling for men who hit you?

Falling for men who hit the bottle more than time-clock?

Why, oh why do you keep circling this same mountain? Especially when you have an ALL-KNOWING God a breath away?

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Psalm 32:8

God was the last place I ran for guidance. I called my mom, my sister, my friends… I talked to the lady at the hair salon, at the nail shop, at work… Never seeking God when He promises to instruct and teach me which way to go. For the second time, I found myself calling off an engagement. For the second time, I’d spent years in a relationship that didn’t end in marriage.

After my FIRST phone conversation with my HUZZZZBAND, I prayed. I’d never done this before. In previous relationships, I prayed desperation prayers. You know. The prayers you pray AFTER you’re in too deep. The prayers that go something like this: “Lord, please don’t let me be pregnant. Please make him stop cheating on me. Please make him choose me over his wife.” #sideeye #lipsmack

My Bold Prayer

I prayed, “If this man isn’t my husband, remove him, ASAP! If he is, show me.” I didn’t have any more time to waste!

I gotta be honest. It’s scary praying a prayer like that! I thought, What if God takes him away? I didn’t really know him but I enjoyed our conversation. I had a desire to know him better; however, if it wasn’t God’s will, I was prepared to throw the deuces! #peace Are willing to do the same?

Seeking God first made all the difference in the world. As I looked back over my past relationships, it was the one, MOST IMPORTANT thing I failed to do. When I stopped quoting God’s word and became obedient to God’s word, everything changed.


Most gracious God. Ruler of both heaven and earth. Thank you for being patient with us. We confess that we have been disobedient. We come to you now asking for forgiveness. Forgive us for taking matters into our own hands. We realize you’re good at being God. You don’t need our help. Father, give us a desire to seek you first. When we take our eyes off you and we’re tempted to forge our own paths, prick our hearts. Direct us back to You. Make us sensitive to your leading. Empower us to be obedient to you. We trust that your plan is better than anything we can create on our own. We love you Lord. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

Reflect & Respond:

Have you failed to seek God before entering a relationship? What was the outcome? Would seeking God first save you some heartache down the road? What can you do to ensure you seek God first next time? Spill the tea in the comments below or email me at

Check back next Wednesday for Tip #5, and Join the Tea Party to receive an email when the next tip drops.

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Dating Tip #4: Seek God First |

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  1. Let’s all gather and sing the 1st, 2nd and 3rd stanzas of Jesus Take the Wheel! I came to this blog for a thirst quencher and honeychile, I drank so much of this tea that I almost drowned. I love this word you have given us sistas. We need it. You are keeping it so real and bearing your soul! Bookitty, I see yo veins!

    Let me just say, the prayer you prayed ministered to my soul. Your encouragement is placing me right where I need to be. I am moving forward. Thank you for being a blessing.

    According to Dr. Jesus, I need this tea more than once a week!

    You are a powerful sister!

    1. Honeychile, what am I going to do with you? Just when I think I can’t laugh any harder, you come through again. 🙂

      All praise, glory and honor to God who is at work within you. I’m grateful He chose me to encourage you. I appreciate your kind words.


  2. This post speaks volumes. For it was like God gave you a vision of my Life and you exposed it to the world. So many times we get caught up in choosing who we think is right for our lives that the only result is heartache and pain. Ohhhhhh but if we just wait on God he will send us the one that will give us the desires of our heart. I thank you for this Dating Tip #4, it was a eye opener for me.????

    1. Hi Kimmy,

      You said it best, “Ohhhhh but if we just WAIT on God…” Wait being the key word. The thing we hate to do. We grow weary in the wait and take matters in our own hands. We must learn to wait well. Waiting has become a preparation period for me. I know God is preparing me for something. In an effort to be ready, I seek His guidance on how I should be spending my time. We can count the days, or we can make the days count. Hopefully we choose the latter.

      It’s a blessing to know God spoke to you through this post. Thank you so much for reading and commenting.


  3. Wooooo??????I am just trying to get my thoughts together! This topic is sooo deep and so appropriate…. you nailed it Tiff…since I’ve let Jesus take the wheel… woooo I haven’t had any action in almost 3 years.. I asked God to remove people from my life who will cause me harm… so God has been faithful to block it! So here I am.. single satisfied by God’s grace protected! I look forward to seeing why He made me wait so long… but His timing is perfect! Thanks for these uplifting blogs Tiff???love you!

    1. I’m so, so, proud of you! If I’m proud of you, I can only imagine the excitement of our Heavenly Father! It’s so encouraging to know there are single, satisfied women doing it God’s way. I can’t wait to see how God blesses you. Time and time again we see where God blesses obedience. Get ready. He’s going to blow your mind!! Continue to be a light in this dark, dark world. We need you!

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I’m praying for your Boaz. <3 you!

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